It's Kel – Look out!

So here I am. Things have been absolutely crazy in my little world. I don’t like “crazy” anymore like I used to when I was younger. And contrary to a lot of people these days, I do NOT work well under pressure anymore. Well, let me rephrase that and say I do not like to work under pressure anymore. I need order in my life.

I never thought I’d feel “old.” I mean, let’s face it…. most people feel old when they hit a milestone like 30 or 40. Didn’t phase me one bit on either of them (that I can remember, anyway). But now it seems like things on me are breaking. They just don’t work like they used to. NOW I feel old.

I’ve been dealing with some health issues and have recently been diagnosed as Hypothyroid. Well, when I got the news that I would have to be on medication for the rest of my life, that really hit me hard. I remember going from one doctor immediately next door to my other doctor to be seen for it. I sat in the waiting room for just about an hour and tried so hard to fight back the tears. At that very moment I felt like less of a person; less of a woman; old and broken. I didn’t know much about this disease (still don’t, but am learning), so I didn’t know what to expect. I knew that my life would be altered from that day forward.

This explained the reason for the much-needed naps I’d take everyday after work (among other issues I’ve been dealing with). And the extreme, I mean EXTREME exhaustion I had been feeling.

My doctor has me on medication. It will take some time for it to be regulated to where I will begin to feel “normal.” So I must be patient. Patience is one thing I have struggled with all my life – though, I must say I have gotten better at it. Now I have some hope.

I want to find out all I can about this disease. I want to feel good, and have energy. I want to remember things, and not feel like I’m in a fog. I want to be happy again and the sadness to go away. I want to be able to stay focused on what I’m doing and not get side-tracked.

So I am reading an excellent book about it. And I’m excited! Well, some of the stuff I’m reading saddens me, but now I know what to expect, and perhaps I can stay ahead of the game and be that normal me again.

What a complexed disease. And I was picked to have it. Yes, at first the pity-party set in and I felt like my life was over. But now I am starting to realize that this is a very common disease, and I can take action to be and stay healthy. Sure, it’s going to take a lot of changes on my part – some of which I am not looking forward to. But the rewards are worth it, so bring it on!

I have the support of a loving husband, for starters. And I have a God who cares about me. I also have the desire and motivation to be a good patient and do what I need to do to live a healthy life. I hope all of this stays intact.

Yes, I go back and forth in my mind: Yes – I can do this; No – I’m doomed! But that’s normal (for me, anyway).

I’m only on page 63 of this amazing book. And I can’t wait to read more! The sooner I feel better, the sooner I can do the things I want to do.

So, please bear with me as I go through this journey. I am utterly exhausted most of the time. It has affected every aspect of my life, and I’m having a hard time dealing with that. I am trying to keep my calendar free so I can work on me right now. I’m broken at the moment, so I can’t really be helpful anywhere else yet. Yes, this drives me absolutely crazy, because I’d rather be helping someone, but I think God is telling me that it’s time for me to make time for me.

I am grateful to have the people in my life that I do. I know lots of people are praying for me (if I ask them to, that is). Not only do I need patience, but now I need those in my life to have patience with me as I work through this. Usually it’s typical for me to be there for others, than to allow others to be there for me. So this is going to be an adjustment. The book says I will find out who my true friends are. I guess we’ll see, huh?

So this is a new chapter in my life. I wonder how it’s going to play out. One day at a time; one prayer at a time; and one nap at a time!

Until next time, I pray that whatever you may be dealing with in your life that you will find peace and comfort in knowing you have a Heavenly Father who loves you. Cast your cares upon Him.

May God bless your eyes….

II Corinthians 1:3-5 – (3)Praise be to the God and Father of Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, (4)who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (5)For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.