kelatlifepoint

You know, I’m really just a dumb girl. You might think I have it all together, but I think I’m pretty good at covering it up most of the time. Yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wish I didn’t have a heart sometimes, or at least a heart that gets so darned attached. Because it hurts a lot.  Talk about running away from things – I think you’re looking at a pro at that right now.  

I’m the type of person who cares so much about people in my life.  Sometimes I care more than the other person does…. that’s just a natural thing that happens to everyone.  So I’m not singling myself out.  But I wish I knew how to turn that off sometimes.  Does that make sense?  I try to turn it off, but I’m never successful at it.  I suppose I could self medicate with drugs or alcohol, but that’s just not my style.  I just let myself suffer through it.  Cry?  Yep.  Get angry?  Typically at myself.  Wanna hide myself from the world?  Uh huh.  Oh, I try to talk myself out of “caring” so much, but it hasn’t worked yet, and I’m venturing to say it will never work (knowing me!).  

One of the things I do now is put a guard up.  I think it comes naturally, really.  I put myself in situations where I get hurt… I’m not blaming the people who hurt me.  Because lets face it, they can’t hurt me… I allow them to hurt me.  So essentially I’m hurting myself.

Why am I typing this stupid “dumb girl” blog?  Not a pity-party – get that outta your head.  Rather, by putting my words down I think it helps me feel better.   And I don’t want any “oh Kel, I’m so sorry… blah blah blah” comments – because I’m not looking for that.  Perhaps I will figure out by the time I’m done writing this what I’m really trying to accomplish.  

I am a very weak person.  I mean, I have a high tolerance of physical pain, but when it comes to my heart, oh it is so weak.  I suppose I could stem it from my childhood – whatever!  No!  It’s just who I am.  I am unique. This is how God made me!  None of us are identical.  

I am very selfish.  I want what I want (which, really isn’t as much as you’d think!).  I think most of all, I want a happy heart.  I don’t need a Corvette – haha!  I don’t need a big house, expensive car, name brand clothing and shoes.  I do need make-up and hairspray!  haha!!  (I had to throw that one in there!)  I think I just need people the most.  Genuine people; not someone who pretends to be someone they are not.  People disappoint people.  Heck, people disappoint themselves!  That’s just the way things work.  I sure know that first hand – I disappoint myself on a daily basis.  

Don’t get me wrong – I am a strong, smart girl too!  I have a heart – which means I do care!  Above and beyond?  Yes I will.  Hurt when you hurt?  Yep.  Wanna fix your problems?  If I could, I would for sure!  Disappoint you?  Unfortunately.  

I think I just need to treat myself like I would treat someone else.  Isn’t that sort of how it goes?!  I let myself get hurt for others.  For the majority of us, that’s what we do.  So I know I am far from the exception.  And those of you who feel like I do at times too, we are not alone.  We might be a tad bit crazy, though!  haha!!  I joke!  :)

I do have a very blessed life.  I am so grateful for ALL of the people in my life.  Some of you love me for who I am.  Some of you challenge me.  Some of you make me doubt myself at times.  Some of you laugh at my silly jokes and pathetic come-backs.  Some of you make me feel really good about myself.  Some of you make it a point to let me know you don’t like me.  Some of you have broken my heart.  Some of you have my heart (and a lot of you don’t even realize it).  Some of you brighten  my day with just a smile, friendly hello, or a sweet message.  Some of you I try to avoid.  Some of you try to avoid me!  haha!  Some of you really know me.  Some of you hardly know me.  Some of you think you know me.  Some of you I disappoint.  Some of you disappoint me.  Some of you I wish I could forget about.  Some of you I wish wouldn’t forget about me.  

It’s funny… just when I think I know myself; someone comes along and puts me through a whirlwind.   It could be someone as silly as a stranger in a car that I’m sharing a road with.  Or it can be someone near and dear to me.  I know this is just God’s way of trying to get my attention.  Shame on me for trying to ignore Him.  Really, I don’t ignore Him – I know He’s there.  And I’m SO glad He is!

I don’t always like me; but I do love the person God made me.  So would I change anything? Nah, I guess not. 

Hmm, my heart is a bit more calm then it was as I started this a few minutes ago.  I guess writing out my junk helped with that.  Putting my trust within my Lord and Savior is what calms my heart completely.  He reminds me that I am here for a purpose; that He loves me unconditionally; and that He has great plans for me.

Until next time…. May God bless your eyes. 

I’m a pretty simple person. No seriously, I am! If you look past all the make-up, hairspray and acrylic nails – I really am. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. I don’t know if that’s a blessing or curse, truth be told. But, I like that I don’t need all kinds of things to keep me content.

Basically there are three things that I need to be happy. God; positive relationships; and good health.

God: The first one you would think is the easiest. It is, but you have to LET it be. I know that my Heavenly Father has a plan for me. I know he wants me to have happiness in my life. Not only does he tell me this through His Word, but He has placed many, many things in my life to show me that is so. I just have to remember to accept and allow His blessings. Why is that so hard sometimes?

Positive Relationships: This can be a bit tricky. I’ve learned in my 40-something years of walking on this earth and interacting with others what kind of people I do and don’t want in my little world. Yes, I have learned the hard way – don’t we all?! But I can tell you, I am so blessed with the people in my life. First and foremost, my husband. Oh how he loves me so! (I love that I can say that and feel so confident about that!) Just having the connection that we have with each other fills my entire day with joy beyond compare. Friends… wow, I have some really amazing friends right now. Some date back from when I was a small child in Pittsburgh, and others have been placed in my path more recently. I have met quite a few people at my church who I really consider to be HUGE blessings in my life. Some of them don’t even realize it! Family can be a bit overwhelming at times. I have always been a family-oriented person, but I’m coming to realize that not all my family members feel as strongly about it as I do. But that’s okay. Everyone is different, and I can only focus on what I have control over. Regardless, I love them all unconditionally. Well, now that I’ve typed that, I wonder if I am telling the absolute truth. Well, the ones I may not love unconditionally, I have forgiven them, and hold no grudges.

Good Health: I’m working on this one right now. As I mentioned I am in my 40’s. It’s interesting how our bodies begin to change as we get older. I believe mine is currently in breakdown mode – HAHA! I’ve had a few things remind me that I need to take better care of myself. The good news is I am finally starting to feel motivated again to do so. Now, baby steps. Yes, baby steps. I have found that if I go full force into something (whether a project or a needed situation), I will put myself into overload and then shut down completely. That’s not a good place to be because I get stuck there, and then it’s hard to start back up again.

Each day I truly do learn something new. It’s kind of cool! I know I still have so much more to learn. I think that’s pretty cool, too.

Times are uncertain, but I’m glad I have some things that remain certain in my life – God, Positive Relationships, and Good Health.

I love that I have a God who’s got my back, especially when I can’t seem to do for myself. I love that I have a husband who supports me and loves me so much. I love that I have a man to share my love with. And I love how I have friends in my life that lift my spirits, share fun times with me, and are there for me when I need them. I love being there for them, too. I’m working on bettering the health. Refocusing, taking back my calendar, and working on me.

None of these things are things that you can purchase. They all have to be earned! So though I may have said I’m a simple person, I think I’m more complexed that I thought I was. But you know what? – That’s okay! God’s not finished with me yet. In the meantime I’ll stick to my make-up, hairspray, acrylic nails…. they all make me feel good – just like God, positive relationships, and good health. Hm! I like it!

Until next time, may God bless your eyes….

You hear it all the time – “She wears her heart on her sleeve.” I don’t think it’s a bad thing.  Actually, I think it’s a pretty cool thing…  that someone allows their inner feelings to be seen to those all around.  Most people will hide or stifle their feelings;  causing emotional problems that become too large to deal with.  This too, in turn can destroy lives and  relationships.  So perhaps wearing your heart on your sleeve is a good way to deal with your problems so one doesn’t get emotionally destroyed.  What do I  know?! – I’m not a psychiatrist!  Haha!

You’re walking through the hall at church, at the store, or at  work and you pass someone you know.  The  usual “Hi!  How are you?” seems to be the friendly greeting.  (And that’s not a bad thing.)  But do they really want to know how you are?   Besides, in just passing, who really has the time (or wants to stop) to hear about how you are?  God forbid you  might have a problem, and that person surely doesn’t know how to help you, or  may not really have the time to listen, or worse – not even care.  So our normal response back is “Hey!  Great!  How are you?”  Still walking, but now turning your head  back because you’ve already passed one another (thinking to yourself, whew, I got past that one!).  Heck, sometimes I am that person who doesn’t  want to know!  (Sorry, just being truthful and wearing my heart on my sleeve.)   But most of the time, I just want to cry out – be the one to  answer!  I may just need a friendly smile  and a reply “I understand,”  from someone without really somehow not giving  away that my heart is just aching with so much pain, and at any moment I’m  about to have waterfalls on my face.  Sometimes  just saying what’s hurting my heart seems to make me feel better.  I don’t want to be pitied, and I hope you  will not judge me!   Please know that.

Now, let’s see if I can delicately wear my heart on my sleeve for  a moment, and share my hurts.  Okay, you  can stop reading now if you are the person that just wants to pass by and hope  that I just answer “Hey!  Great!  How are you?”  :) And by no means am I trying to attack anyone or point fingers of blame  as to why my heart hurts about certain things, or write a “poor Kel” thing here.  Just letting it out so I can feel  better.   If you want to read on, feel free.  If you want to stop here, that’s okay!  That’s the beauty of the whole  blog thing. 

I had, what I thought was the most special bond with someone very  important in my life.  We always had this  agreement that things would never change in our lives – the relationship we had  – no matter who else was added into our little world with us.  I feel as though that has changed, and that  special individual whom I love so very much has drifted away from me.  But, sadly that individual has taken other people who are so precious to me with them.  There is such a huge, empty spot in my heart that never ceases to weep.  And nothing else can replace it, or fill  it.  And yes, I’m angry and want to blame someone for hurting me!  I think the  hardest part for me is to know that I can’t change a thing – I have no control over the other person and people involved.  I can only pray about it and ask God to heal my hurt and bring those  people back into my life because they want to be in it.  This is only one example of what’s making my heart so sad right now.  Another person who is dear to me has made it pretty clear that I’m really not important to them.  I just feel like all my love and devotion was thrown back into my face, with a laugh!  Ouch.  I need a big band-aid.

Why is it that the people we are supposed to mean the most to hurt  us?  Why do they take us for granted?  Why do they not care or even consider how they hurt our hearts?  Sometimes I feel like the only one that doesn’t fit in…. ANYWHERE!  These, by the way are just rhetorical questions.  Answering them would be a waste of your time because I get it. 

I’ve really worked hard on changing some of my ways.  I try not to be controlling – that was a really bad habit I had.  And actually, it’s more of a personality trait, rather than a habit.  I try not to talk over people when they talk –  I think I’ve gotten better about that, but there’s still lots of room for improve (thank you for bearing with me).   I guess the point is I try to be aware of how I treat people.  Though, sometimes I just have to walk away and not make the first move anymore just to protect my heart.  I hate the feeling of being somewhere knowing I am not welcomed or wanted there.  But it’s more of an obligation that they have me there.  I’d rather just not be there.  It’s such a humiliating and esteem-killing thing.  It’s just the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I try so hard to hold it all in.

So how do I make my heart not hurt when these things creep into my daily living?  I don’t know, really.  Let’s see… first I’m aggravated and tend to be short with the ones who don’t deserve it!  Not good!  Next, I cry.  Yep, I mess up the make-up that took me 20 minutes to attempt to perfect, and gunk up my contacts.  Not to mention the next day have the puffiest, hurting eyes that are so noticeable!  Then poor Keith has to hear me cry about it.  That man deserves the biggest medal, and many wonderful blessings to endure me!    Then I shut myself off from everyone – even the ones who really do care how I am when they ask!  I also try to keep myself completely occupied so that my brain doesn’t have the chance to remember that I’m sad about something.  And then I stay up as late as I possibly can so that when I do finally go to sleep I’m too tired to lay there allowing the thoughts keep me awake.  Oh Jesus is just standing right in front of my face just trying to get my attention, but I look around Him because I certainly don’t feel worthy of His love.  Plus, I’m embarrassed at this point that I didn’t go to Him first!  I know He forgives me.  I ask Him to work on me, and He gladly wants to.  Talk about a peace coming over one’s heart!

But when I decide I can’t take it anymore and need Him, I let Him know I’m ready for His patient love that he has for me.  As I allow Him to finally embrace me, I remind myself that there is a Heavenly Father that cares about my heart, and loves me so unconditionally!  This makes me get mad at myself for allowing my hurt to get me as far as it did prior to going to Him in prayer to begin with!  Yep – I am stubborn.  Another “Not good!”  Sometimes I just need to cry.  That’s all.  I would like to think that my heart is hard – shielded against earthly hurt.  But that’s not the case at all.  Duh, right?! 

I try to find Bible verses to be that band-aid that I need.  Of course, the Bible (Jesus) never fails me!  Humbly I cry to Him and ask for His forgiveness for my behavior, and thank Him for His everlasting love for me.

Matthew 11:28-30 – “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

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Hebrews 12:15 – “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled”

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Romans 5:3-5 – “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us – they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

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I am so incredibly blessed with all the people in my life who take time out of their busy day to send me a little greeting via text, email, facebook, phone call, mail, those who pray for me, etc.  You all have no idea how much that means to me!  I am so forever grateful that God put you into my life.  :)  Thank you for not judging me and for giving me the tough love that I need.  Thank you for your friendship and love.  Thank you for your kind words and hugs.  Thank you for being who you are.  “Thank you” cannot express my sincere gratitude!

You know what?  I started this blog with a heavy, hurt heart and tears running down my cheeks.  Now my heart is at peace and my eyes are now dry.  Isn’t it amazing how things work out?  I know what you’re saying (because I’m getting ready to type it) – God is so good!  :)

Please, know that you can wear your heart on your sleeve when you are with me anytime and always!  I insist, because I truly love you! 

May God bless your eyes…

Most people are blogging about their new year’s resolution right about now, if they haven’t already.  I’m not.  I have decided that I can’t do new year’s resolutions… I have to just do daily resolutions.  It’s hard for me to stay focused – most of the time!  :)

So I am going to just make a list of some of the things I just love…. little things to big things.  Not in any specific order – just as they pop into my head.  These are things that make me smile, warm my heart, and make my days brighter.

• My husband’s unconditional love
• My savior’s unconditional love
• Hugs from my nieces
• My church
• Music
• Corvettes
• Nap time on a rainy day
• Breeze of the ocean on a spring day
• Sound of the birds outside my window
• Smell of a clean towel
• Greetings from my church family
• Receiving a smile from a stranger
• Having lunch with someone special
• Driving on a country road
• Spending quality time with family
• Talking to my Pappap on the phone
• Facebook (yep – I get to stay in touch with those I love)
• Funny stories
• Playing games
• Playing Wii
• Putting together puzzles with my best friend
• Colorful Christmas lights
• Finding a great sale on just about anything
• Holding the door open for someone
• Praying
• Eating (yes yes…. I know you know this one is true)
• The perfect combination of co-workers to create a great team
• Tulips
• Cats
• Elephants
• 4-wheeling
• Watching movies
• Writing
• My bonus son and granddaughter
• Snow when it first falls
• Smell of my mom’s Thanksgiving dinner cooking
• The way my Me-mo used to laugh
• Feeling safe in my home
• Getting all green lights
• Having a crazy family
• Having great neighbors
• Knowing my friends love me for who I am
• Being organized
• Sending greeting cards to people I care about
• Receiving greeting cards and mail, especially from my young family members
• That I’m okay with not having a biological child of my own
• Calculators (because I hate math)
• Mexican food
• The power of a fast vehicle
• The smell of a baby
• My bed
• Being able to understand the Bible through teachings by my pastor, and other sources
• Staying in touch with childhood friends
• Daydreaming
• Sitting quiet and still within a busy moment
• Memories of loved ones that are now gone
• Being creative
• The sound of Keith’s truck pulling up in the driveway
• Cooking
• Love

Well, it’s simply put in the easiest way of writing.  I could have added a bunch of big words and adjectives, and gotten really deep.  But this is where my mind is at the moment.  Sure, there are a lot of more things that I just love, but I’m going to stop here.

Most of all, I’m so blessed to have a heart that loves so many people, because my younger years were filled with hate and fear.  But even more so is that I have so many people who love me!  I never thought that I would be surrounded by so many wonderful and loving people in my life.  When all I was told as a child by my birth father was that I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love – not even his.  Perhaps that is why most of all I just love LOVE.  :)

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrong.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

~  Corinthians 13:4-7

I pray you have a blessed 2011 – that we all have a blessed 2011!

May God bless your eyes…..

When I was a little girl, I think I was a brat.

Well, I was… I know it! My dear, sweet Grandma Menoher… she was your typical grandma – short curly blue hair, glasses, house dresses, hearing aid, patent leather shoes, cool clutch purses, GREAT cook! She lived in this adorable little place – I loved it! There were all kinds of neat nooks and crannies in her house to hide in, or escape to. She had neat knickknacks, too, that I would play with. Old books, antique furniture, and Hershey’s syrup in a can! My brother and I would sometimes spend the weekend with her. It was so much fun, because she had a real back yard (we had a tiny brick backyard), a sweet neighbor upstairs that always gave us cookies or candy, a fun closet full of really cool clothes, purses and shoes (my brother wasn’t into that stuff – ha ha!), and she was a GREAT cook! Yes, I know I said that already – ha ha!  :)  She made this most delicious Chicken Potpie stuff, and she would let us roll out the dough with the rolling pin, and then cut the dough in squares and put them in the big pot on the stove.

Grandma Menoher was Catholic. So, we’d go to church with her on the Sundays of the weekends we’d spend at her house. My brother and I would draw and color, etc., during the service. We learned real quick not to ask Grandma a question, because she wore a hearing aid, and she would answer us very loudly! When she would take us into town (we rode the city bus), same thing… didn’t ask her any questions. One day she made this comment to us about a person sitting across from us, and she thought she was whispering and that only we could hear her… that person heard what she said!! It was embarrassing, but funny because she didn’t realize how loud she was. At night she would snore, and we’d try to gently wake her… but she couldn’t hear us saying “Grandma, you’re snoring,” and nudging her didn’t work. She was so cute!

Okay, now for the bratty part! As I mentioned earlier, I was a brat. Poor grandma…. I remember some of the mean things I did when I was with her as a little girl. One day I locked her out of her own house and would not let her back in! (I’m so sorry, grandma!) Another time I caught some butterflies and had them in a jar. I brought the jar into her kitchen to show her what I had done. She told me not to let them out of the jar in the house. Well, I did! Come to think of it, if she would have never said that, I probably would not have done it. Isn’t that awful?! (I’m so sorry, grandma!) She was so patient and unconditionally loving to me  every time.

Hmm, sounds like someone else I know…. God! How many times have I let the “butterflies out of the jar in the house,” when God has asked me not to? And each time He has loved and forgiven me unconditionally. As I grow my faith in God, and continue to learn His Word, I’ve been able to keep the lid on that jar many times, whereas before maybe not. I am amazed by His love for me; His forgiveness for me! And I am incredibly grateful and humbled of it, too. I never want to stop remembering that unimaginable sacrifice He made for me (and for you!)….

Grandma Menoher died when I was 11 years old. She never had the opportunity to see me as I am today. However, I believe she is looking down on me and is happy to see who I have become. Not perfect by no means! But, I think she likes my jar of butterflies more now.

Until next time… I pray that you catch beautiful butterflies, and learn to see their beauty through the glass, rather than in the kitchen! 

May God bless your eyes….

Grandma Menoher with her 5 grandchildren.  That’s me in the red on the left, and my brother is in the blue.  :)

I’ve lived in Florida for 30 years now (well, in August, officially), and I have to say, it’s been a LONG time since it’s been cold like this and for this length of time. I’m enjoying it, though. We don’t get enough cold weather here, so I’ll take every minute of it I can get.

I remember the snow. I remember that cold, cold weather. The snow was beautiful, until it became dirty slush. I remember riding my sled down the hill at the park. I remember making snow angels. And I remember the igloo my friend’s dad made in our backyard! Great childhood memories of the cold, snowy weather.

One of the things I like about the cold weather in Florida is that I get to have good hair and make-up days! Yes, I said it! And, no, I’m not vain. HA HA! I have such oily skin (well, from the chin up only!), that in the heat/humidity, it’s just a chore to keep my hair and make-up looking fresh. So thank you for the cool weather!

Until next time, stay warm, remember to snuggle with the one you love (that includes your 4-legged friends!), and thank God for another day.

May God bless your eyes….

Yep, I said it… “Organized!”  Most of you that know me know I’m pretty organized.  Well, I used to be pretty organized!  I’m still probably more organized than I think I am, but I feel so unorganized right now.

It’s funny how life just all the sudden takes control of you and you don’t even realize it.  I feel like that’s what has happened to me over the last few years.  I don’t know how it happened, but it’s time for me to claim it back!

Okay, so all you “neat freaks” out there totally know what I’m talking about.  However, those of you that don’t really understand the concept of neatness, or could care less if everything is in its place, probably think I’m completely wacked!  That’s okay… we are all different, and I can dig that!    What makes me feel good is being in a neat environment (my own space, if you will… what you do with your space is completely your prerogative), among other things, of course. 

So the last several years have been a bit chaotic in our house (even though I’ve pretty much been the only one in it for the most part).  I have had all intentions to keep neatness in my home, but sometimes haven’t been quite successful.  Our home office is a huge example of that.  And each year I say that I’m going to stay on top of everything – filing, dusting, receipts, etc. in the office.  Sadly, I must say that I’ve failed each year to keep that personal hope of a tradition from happening. 

For someone like me, (I know what you are thinking… “obsessive compulsive disorder” – she’s a freak show!), being in an unorganized place (in my home) makes it hard to concentrate on anything else.  I can’t have the fun I’d like to have.  I can’t not think about the fact that my living room is a complete disaster (over exaggerated, of course), if I’m trying to watch television… or worse… if someone visits me!  And yes, I straighten the pillows on the sofa and loveseat before I go to bed!  My husband will attest to that (he laughs at me about it).    In regards to my home office, it’s gotten so unorganized that when I do go in there to try to be productive with something (maybe wanting to put something on eBay, or write a letter, for example), I get so sidetracked and can’t stay focused because of the clutter and lack of organization (to my standards, that is). 

It’s the end of 2009, and I am DETERMINED to have our home office completely organized by the end of January (2010!).    And actually, my goal is sooner than that… but I want to be realistic, and not overwhelm myself.  I know that I have some important, time-sensitive projects that need to be done first.

If you are my friend on Facebook, you’ve been watching me update my status on the Phases of organization I’ve been doing these last few days in my home office.  I’m breaking it down in phases so as to not overwhelm myself and completely shutdown (as I have so often in the past resulting in it not getting done, and actually getting worse).  And again, those of you like me know what I’m talking about when I say getting overwhelmed and completely shutting down.  It’s a terrible feeling… but it’s a real feeling.

At work I’m also trying to create systems to keep me organized and on top of things.  There are so many intricate details that I must remember at work… and if I forget one of them, it can create a huge snowball affect… and I don’t want that to happen.  I take my work seriously, and do not want to disappoint or mess up.  Now don’t get me wrong… I’m not a freak about it… If I can keep up with things, it just makes the whole process awesome and gives me a great day to enjoy.  It also prevents from having to backtrack and fix stuff.  An old boss of mine said it like this:  “Do it right the first time.”  That has always stuck in my head.  And it makes so much sense!  Think about it… doing the job right the first time prevents wasted time having to fix what was done half-heartedly; and allows you to be so efficient… staying on top of  everything (such as keeping an organized office, in turn allowing one to be more productive, and so forth… another snowball affect!).    Not only that, but it gives you  a great sense of accomplishment.  Win; win!!

Okay, now I need YOUR help!  Yes, YOU!  I’m asking that you hold me accountable… ask me how I’m coming along with my “Operation Organized Home Office” project.  I don’t need you to actually get in here and help me… in fact, that’s the worst thing that can happen, believe it or not!  Just a few words of encouragement actually keeps me going.  That’s it!  That sounds simple enough, right?    I thank you, in advance, for making me accountable to my project at hand.  I have several others that I’m anxious and excited to get started on, but I know that I must do one project at a time, and break it down into phases to not overwhelm myself.

“May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”    2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Your encouragement means a lot to me.  No, it doesn’t pay the bills, fill a flat tire, or clean my pool… but it gives me the strength to do what I feel I can’t do, hold on when I feel I can’t, and press on when I need to the most.

I’m looking forward to being organized in 2010!  Keeping up with my life on a regular basis, and enjoying every step of the way.  I think at this time next year, I will have lots of great news to report! 

Until next week, I pray that you find inner peace in an area you may be struggling with.  And I hope that I can provide you with encouragement, as you have for me.

Happy & Healthy New Year I pray for you! 

May God bless your eyes…

Yesterday was the 64th birthday of my dad. Well, he would have been 64 years old yesterday. Cancer, and complications of the surgery to remove the cancer claimed him that 15th day of November, 2006.

I look back that cold November day 3 years ago, and it still feels so surreal…. like it never happened. I go over and over in my head how my dad was still young. He was only 60 when he died.

I never knew if my dad was saved. Well, I actually didn’t think he was at all. With his addictions and habits, it was hard to think that he was. Don’t get me wrong… he was a very loving dad, and a great guy.  He and my mom married when I was 13 years old.  This picture is from their wedding day…  Aren’t they cute?!

My dad remarried in May of the year he died. I learned from his new wife that my dad had accepted Jesus as his savior. What a joyous and thankful moment that was. See, when he died, I wasn’t sure where his heart was. So I asked Karen if she knew. Karen had told me about the man my dad worked with. I don’t know his name, but I am forever grateful for this man’s care for my dad’s soul.

Karen shared with me that the man my dad worked with was a very Godly man. He and my dad spent most of their time driving around in a car… so they had a lot of time to talk. This man would always speak about Jesus and God’s love for us. Karen shared with me that my dad gave his life to the Lord one day in the car with his co-worker. He prayed the prayer with tears in his eyes. And his co-worker, who had been planting the seeds, was able to share in that incredible moment.

I am so very grateful for my dad’s co-worker. For his courage, love for the Lord, and true concern for my dad’s eternal life… thank you to him…. Thank you, dad’s co-worker!

Did you plant a seed in someone today? You just never know who you are going to run into; impact; or help change a life forever. I want to be a Gardener…. I want to plant a seed wherever I go. I pray this is your desire, too.

Until next week, may God bless your eyes….

When I was a little girl in Pittsburgh, our family had a small silver Christmas tree.  It was very small, but my parents would put it on the end table to make it look larger.  I don’t ever remember decorating it, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t.  I just remember it sitting on the top shelf of the end table (remember those end tables from the 70′s?!), and looking so tall, yet knowing it was so small!

I often wondered why I never saw a silver Christmas tree at anyone else’s house we’d go to.  I don’t think I asked my parents why our tree was silver… and what was wrong with it?!  HA HA!  I mean, it was just strange to me.  Christmas trees are green…. at least all the ones I had seen by that age.  Oh, and we put silver tinsel on it!  As if it wasn’t “silver” enough.  My parents meant well… Well, at least I know my mother did.  My (biological) father, I’m sure, hated that Christmas was something he had to deal with because it meant a day for the (his) kids.

My brother and I shared a bedroom.  The house we lived in was so very small (I guess that’s why we had a small Christmas tree!).  Don and I would sneak past my parents bedroom, down the stairs, to see if Santa had come, every hour on the hour, it seemed!  I remember looking at the clock, and it was only 4am.  Santa had come!  Don and I were SO excited!!  We gently went into our parents’ bedroom to ask them if we could open our gifts, and the response was “it’s too early… go back to bed.”  Do you think my brother and I were able to sleep knowing there were toys down there for us to unwrap and enjoy?  That’s a rhetorical question, of course!  :)  So he and I would lay in our beds talking about what we thought was downstairs for us to unwrap… what sort of toys Santa had brought for us, and how it seemed as though time was standing still!  :)  Sometimes I think our father would purposely stay in bed on Christmas mornings as late as he possibly could to make us wait.

We shared our (tiny) backyard with 3 other neighbors.  The family directly behind us were our friends that we played with all year round.  I remember their dad had this really cool device that made igloo blocks.  He built an igloo in the backyard for all of us to enjoy.  I actually felt like an Eskimo!   It was a lot of fun.

Christmas morning would finally come and we’d get to sit under the silver Christmas tree opening the gifts that Santa had brought us.  Typewriters, Ants in the Pants, Baby Chrissy Doll, Connection, and clothes were just some of the thing under that silver Christmas tree.

I think all the years I lived in Pittsburgh (till I was 12 years old), we only had that silver Christmas tree.  It’s funny how thoughts of it brings happy memories, fun memories, and sad memories all at the same time.

Today it seems as though silver Christmas trees are popular (heck, even pink ones!!!!), and I see them here and there.  Does it remind me of those Christmas mornings in Pittsburgh as a little girl?  Yes.  And, surprisingly, I still smile.  But, I will say that tinsel is ban from my home forever!  HA HA!!  :)

I pray that your Christmas be filled with the sweet childhood memories of your “silver Christmas tree story”… whatever that may be.  :)  And I would love to hear yours!

May God bless your eyes….