Today is the day that my dad left this earth three years ago. I miss him so much. He wasn’t my biological father; but we loved each other as if we were. And he made sure to tell me; and vise-versa. He loved my mom so much! I know they were each others’ true loves. And if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t know what true love is all about. I always thought it was just a fairytale!
He came into my life when I was 12-years-old. And I wasn’t a great kid (I know… hard to believe, right?! HA HA!!). He let me know right away that he was in charge; and I respected that. Finally a man who loved my mother, and would do anything for her… including loving her kids!
No, dad wasn’t perfect, but I’ll tell ya… I’m so glad he was my dad! We had so much fun as a “family unit” on Friday and Saturday nights, especially. He’d play his records, and we’d all sing along. None of us ever had the heart to tell him how incredibly tone-deaf he was!!
He was having a great time, and that’s all that mattered.
He struggled with addictions. His addictions ultimately destroyed the “family unit.” He and my mom sadly divorced 14-15 years ago. Like I said, I know they were each others’ one and only true loves. But alcoholism wreaked havoc on their marriage. We hated watching him destroy himself. Back then (1980’s), we didn’t know of a thing called “intervention” and I certainly did not know there were treatment facilities that help people conquer addictions. Sometimes, I feel responsible for not fighting harder… but I know it’s not my fault. He did die of alcohol-related complications. And he was only 60-years-old.
I remember I was supposed to talk to him before he went into surgery. My life was so hectic – dealing with my own life and it’s problems; I never got that chance to talk to him. However, I did talk to him briefly after the surgery, and he sounded great! All of the sudden, he went down hill – FAST! I never got to speak with him again. Don (my brother) and I immediately jumped into my truck and began to drive to AL. Dad was in ICU, and this was our final opportunity to see him alive. Though, I almost wish I hadn’t. He was so frail and looked so lifeless. He looked as if he were in his 90s! That wasn’t dad! The sad thing is, we all knew that if/when he ended up in the hospital, his body was so weak and sick that he’d probably never make it out alive. And that’s exactly what happened. He had cancer of the esophagus (common among alcoholics); and had to have part of it removed. At that point, the doctors discovered his body was loaded with cancer! He then had complications (obstructions of the bowels, etc.), was put on a ventilator, and had to have 24/7 care.
He heard my brother’s voice! He has 3 daughters and 1 son. Of course, he favored his son – and that thrilled me to death.
So when his eyes lit up when he heard Don’s voice, it gave me hope that he could hear our voices. Even though I had told him a zillion times how much I love him and how blessed my life is having him as my dad, I needed to tell him one more time. I told him that it was okay… he didn’t have to fight anymore.
He never was a godly man. He wasn’t a punk, or whatever you want to call it, either! But I was never sure if he had a relationship with Jesus. I felt as though he never did. But remember I told you he moved to AL? Well, he got a job where he worked one-on-one with a Christian man who loved the Lord; and loved to spread the good news! I learned from my dad’s new wife that he said the prayer, with tears in his eyes, accepting Jesus as his savior with his co-worker guiding him through it. Thank you, God… THANK YOU!!! There was a reason he moved to AL…. shame on me for wishing he had moved there!
I know I will see my dad again…. in HEAVEN! And we will laugh, and dance and sing (in key – ha ha!!) together again. He is the wing beneath my wings… the reason I am who I am today…. an angel in my life.
Back in April of 2006 (just before my dad was diagnosed with the cancer, married his new wife, and visited with us kids in FL), my mom felt compelled to give me the wedding rings she wore when she was married to my dad. May was when he was diagnosed; got remarried; and visited us. To this day, I wear those wedding rings on my right hand – ring finger. Every time I look at them; touch them; adjust them; EVERY TIME – I think of the love my mom and dad had, and the love we had as a family, and how grateful I am for his love and life.
I write in his guest book online every once and a while. It always makes me feel a little bit closer to him. If you’d like to visit or sign his guest book: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/orlandosentinel/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=20071815 – feel free.
Until next week…. May God bless your eyes….